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Madonna's Plan for Neutralizing Dangerous Radioactive Waste

The London Sunday Times reports that Madonna has been "lobbying the government and nuclear industry over a scheme to clean up radioactive waste with a supposedly magic Kabbalah fluid." Both she and her husband, Guy Ritchie are promoting a water-based “mystical” liquid solution that has allegedly proved successful in neutralising dangerous nuclear waste in Ukraine. One official--presumably at British Nuclear Fuels-- had this to say about Madonna's proposal: “It was like a crank call . . . the scientific mechanisms and principles were just bollocks, basically.”
Here's a great snippet from the article:
“I mean, one of the biggest problems that exists right now in the world is nuclear waste,” [Madonna] said. “That’s something I’ve been involved with for a while with a group of scientists — finding a way to neutralise radiation, believe it or not.”The Kabbalah Centre, which is based in Los Angeles but has branches worldwide, was set up by Philip Berg, a former insurance salesman. One devotee has described how Berg leads chants of “Chernobyl” and the names of other nuclear power plants. Followers believe this helps “heal the problem of nuclear waste”.
Undercover reporters who attended a Kabbalah Centre dinner in London described how Madonna and Ritchie were among guests who turned east towards Chernobyl and began shouting its name.
Some Kabbalah followers are even said to believe that nuclear waste is the cause of the Aids epidemic.
Madonna has said: “According to science we aren’t going to have a planet in about 50 years at the rate we’re going with nuclear waste. I can write the greatest songs and make the most fabulous films and be a fashion icon and conquer the world, but if there isn’t a world to conquer, what’s the point?
Even if it doesn't help, it certainly couldn't hurt, so how about we let her sprinkle her holy water where she wants, and wait to make fun of her until after we're certain it won't really work....